Can You Stay Sober Without AA?

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One of the biggest debates in the recovery world is about whether or not you can stay sober without AA. We get asked often, “How do you feel about AA?” I think this is important to talk about, and share some thoughts about.

I’ll start with this: There’s no denying that Alcoholics Anonymous has saved countless thousands of lives. For some people, the twelve steps is exactly what they need to stop drinking, and take charge of their lives. I’ve seen people absolutely thrive in this setting and that makes me so happy for them.

My concern lies in the belief that AA is the only way to get sober.

I think that’s dangerous.

There are a lot of people that just don’t connect with AA. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them! It doesn’t mean they’ll never maintain long term sobriety, that they’ll never successfully stop drinking. Unfortunately, this is exactly what some people are told. They’re told they’ll stay stuck in the drinking cycle if they don’t go to AA meetings. The twelve steps is the only way to get sober and stay sober.  They’ll continue drinking if they don’t do sobriety “right”. 

There’s no “right” way to do sobriety.

There are so many ways to recover these days – the options are nearly endless. If one thing doesn’t work for you, there are a dozen other things you can try next. Unfortunately, that information isn’t as readily available as AA literature and references are. Too many people are stuck believing they have no other choice.

I have a friend who knew she had a problem with alcohol and went to an AA meeting when she was 25. For whatever reason it just didn’t connect with her. She said, “If this is what getting sober is like, I’ll just keep drinking.” Thankfully, 15 years later, she found another way and is thriving in recovery.

But how many people never find another way? How many people don’t connect with AA, find themselves miserably trying to force it to work for them, and give up and go back to drinking because they feel like they don’t have any other options? Those are the people we’re looking to find, because we don’t want them to get lost. We want them to know there are options, that there is help, and that they aren’t alone. There is something out there that’s going to connect with their heart and their spirit, that’s going to provide what they need to stop drinking and start recovering. 

So to answer the question – how do we feel about AA? 

I think the best answer is this: We are grateful that AA exists because it’s exactly what some people need. We also want to keep spreading the word that there are other options, other ways to maintain a sober lifestyle. We never want anyone to give up, and because of some attitudes about AA, we see that happen. 

So how can you get sober without AA?

Let’s explore some resources and make sure your pockets are filled with options, so you never have to feel like giving up is the only option.

  1. Therapy/Addictions counselor
  2. SMART Recovery
  3. Recovery Dharma
  4. Celebrate Recovery
  5. Medically assisted treatment
  6. Meetup or other sober communities
  7. Sobriety apps such as I Am Sober, Reframe, Sober Buddy and many others
  8. Online recovery meetings like the ones we host
  9. Books – “quit lit”, recovery workbooks, general self help books
  10. Local recovery centers – most counties have a Recovery Community Organization (RCO) offering support and services
  11. A mix of all of these

The most important thing in recovery is finding a community or a circle that you feel comfortable in, that encourages you to grow and create forward momentum in your life. If you haven’t found your tribe yet, keep looking. No matter what, you don’t have to do recovery alone!

Julie Miller
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