How to Set Yourself Up for Sober Success

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Sticking with your decision to get sober can be quite challenging, and it’s important to go into sobriety with a plan that sets you up for sober sucess. I often tell people – your job is to make this as easy on yourself as possible.

When you first stop drinking, it seems like there are challenges around every corner. It can feel like the whole world is working against you, and that all you’re doing is spending your time focused on not drinking. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Here’s a list of some things you can do to ensure that you’re setting yourself up to be sucessfully (and happily) sober.

  1. Change Your Routine. Most of us have our “usual” drinking routines. For me, it all started at 5pm when I walked into the kitchen to start cooking dinner. Cooking dinner went hand in hand with sipping wine. (And of course, the sipping wine continued long after dinner was over.) I realized that just walking into the kitchen at 5pm triggered a craving, so I changed everything around. I started putting dinner in the crock pot in the morning, so I didn’t even have to cook in the evening. For others, their routine might be coming home from working and pouring a drink to relax. Instead, maybe head to the bathroom for a shower or bath, or go for a short walk. Little changes to usual routines mean you’ll feel fewer “triggers” or cravings for alcohol.
  2. Stock up on sugar. Okay so, we don’t want you to switch your alcohol addiction for a sugar addiction, but when you stop drinking you’ll find that your body is craving sugar to replace what you were giving it for so long. Often, having a bit of sugar will help quench a craving. And of course, there are healthy options as well. This is a great time to explore the non-alcoholic beverages that are available these days. There are all kinds of fizzy waters, carbonated teas, sodas, and juices. You might also find that a handful of Skittles or some gummy worms help curb cravings and let you feel like you’re still getting a treat. Stock up yummy things, so you always have something on hand.
  3. Plan out your free time. Free time – and boredom – can be dangerous in early sobriety. When you quit drinking, it suddenly seems like there are 143 hours in a day. It won’t be this way forever, but for this first little while try to avoid getting to the point where you aren’t really sure what you’re going to do with your time. So often, that’s when the voice in the back of your mind pipes up, saying, “I know what you could do! This is a great time for a drink!” And then you find yourself in a craving spiral. So make a list – and actually write it down, or put it where you can find it on your phone – of things you can do during your free time. This is a great time to tackle projects you’ve been putting off or try new hobbies that have always intrigued you. You can choose to spend your free time in self care, or maybe spend it visiting with others who are in recovery. The possiblities are endless.
  4. Find other people in recover to connect with. So you don’t want to walk into your local AA meeting on Wednesday night. Look, we get it. But what so many people don’t realize is that there are TONS of different ways to connect with other people who are going through the same thing as you, or who have been there and can offer some much needed wisdom and compassion. Having a place to talk about what you’re experiencing is absolutely key to maintaining long term sobriety. Check out this link for more ideas on how to find support and connection.
  5. Take a break from social situations that involve alcohol. Remember how we said, “Make this as easy on yourself as possible?” Nothing about walking into a party with all your old friends is going to make staying sober easy. There will likely come a time when staying sober in a setting like that isn’t an issue for you. But early on, there is no point in putting yourself in a position to be tempted. Yes, you might experience some FOMO, but in the end, that’s better than the regret and shame that comes with a relapse. So for right now, stop hanging out where there’s alcohol, and start scheduling fun things to do that don’t involve alcohol.
  6. Start journaling. Get in the habit of getting in touch with what’s really going on inside. The benefits of journaling are endless. But in early sobriety, it can be an especially powerful tool. Journaling will help you recognize tough emotions that might be building up, which can lead you to wanting to drink. It’ll help you understand yourself, so you can work on meeting your needs as much as possible. It’ll help you plan ahead, so you can be prepared for tough situations. And self reflection can help you recognize other changes you might need to make in your life in order to support your decision to stop drinking.
  7. Develop a recovery maintenance plan. One thing we do with our recovery coaching clients is help them develop a recovery maintenance plan. We explore tools to use when a craving strikes, ways to cope and calm down when life gets lifey, and a plan for sustaining your sobriety for the long term. Creating healthy habits early in recovery is key to keeping the momentum going for the long haul. (Learn more about working with Steve or Julie.)
  8. Don’t quit EVERYTHING at once. People often tell me they’ve decided to quit drinking… and smoking, and sugar, and social media, all at the same time. I think for the majority of people, this is setting yourself up for failure. I want you to quit all of those things, too! But I want you to do it in a way that is sustainable. One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was, “Quit one thing at a time. And start with the thing most likely to kill you.”
Julie Miller
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