How To Party Sober (and have FUN!)

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With holiday gatherings just around the corner, we’ve compiled all of our best tips and tricks to help you party sober, and have the time of your life. 

  1. Choose your mindset. Decide you’re going to have fun! It sounds ridiculously simple, but it works. If you go to a party expecting to be bored, you’re going to be bored. If you go to a party expecting to have fun, you’re going to have fun. That’s just how it works.
  2. Bring your own drinks. Whether it’s fizzy water, your favorite NA beer, a fancy mocktail, or anything else – be prepared with your own drinks. It’ll be so much easier to say, “No thanks!” if you’ve already got a drink in your hand.
  3. Let your support system know what you’re doing. Whether it’s a sober friend, a support group, a mentor, a sponsor… let them know beforehand that you’re going out, and that you intend to stay sober. Build up accountability around you.
  4. Tell someone at the party that you aren’t drinking. If you’re going with a date or a friend, let them know you aren’t going to be drinking. It helps to have someone in your corner, and it also adds a level of accountability. You’re going to have a much harder time drinking in front of someone if you just told them you won’t be drinking. 
  5. Thank your host early. When you arrive at a party, thank your host immediately. Let them know how much you appreciate the invite, and how lovely it is to see them, and let them know that you might need to leave early. This way, if you do decide it’s time to get outta dodge, you aren’t stuck looking for the host to say your goodbyes. 
  6. Give yourself permission to leave early. Learn to check in with yourself, and to be really, really honest. If you get there and discover that you’re uncomfortable, go ahead and leave. Don’t try to force yourself to stay. Your job is to make sobriety as easy as possible for yourself. If that means leaving thirty minutes after you got there, that’s okay. 
  7. Know how you’ll answer The Question. “Why aren’t you drinking?” In early sobriety, it’s a question a lot of people dread hearing. Know ahead of time what you’ll say, and you won’t look like a deer in the headlights when the question gets asked. (We really push honesty around here, but in this case, if you feel like you need to tell a little fib in this instance, that is a-okay.)
  8. Play the tape forward. This trick is the #1 most effective tool for any part of sobriety, but it works really well here. Before you go, take some time to imagine how the party would go if you drank. Imagine the embarrassing conversations, making a fool of yourself (or worse), and feeling sick and full of shame and regret the next day. Then, imagine how the party will go when you stay sober. How you’ll enjoy yourself and be present, and how good you’ll feel in the morning. Keep playing that tape forward as often as you need to throughout the night. 
  9. Have a support system in your pocket. Make a list of the people you can reach out to if you need some sober support while you’re out. Excuse yourself to the bathroom or for some fresh air, and make a call or send a text. Anyone who is sober will understand and will be happy to be there in your moment of need.
  10. If you need to, stay home. Parties can be overwhelming. All of the noise and socializing and alcohol flowing freely might just be too much for you right now. That’s okay. No party depends on you being there in order to be a success. If you decide that you’re better off staying home, then do that, and try not to feel guilty for it. If you’re feeling some FOMO, make sure you have planned some ways to treat yourself. 

What are your best tips for staying sober at a party? Do you have any experiences to share? We’d love to hear about them!

Julie Miller
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