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Struggling to feel like life is still fun, now that you‘re sober?

Here’s an important statement that you need to understand: What you believe, you will manifest.

If you go to a party expecting it to be boring… it’s going to be boring. If you go camping and your friends are drinking, and you expect to feel left out… you’re going to feel left out. If you say to yourself, “I’m not as much fun when I’m sober,”… you’re not going to feel like you’re as much fun when you’re sober. If you believe an event won’t be as special without alcohol… you guessed it! It won’t be as special without alcohol. You get the idea.

What you believe, you will manifest. 

So much of sobriety is all about the beliefs you carry into it with you. Well, actually, that’s true in all of life, but since we’re talking about sobriety, that’s what I’ll stick with here. 

Take charge of your beliefs! 

We tend to carry a lot of beliefs with us that we’ve never actually thought about. We just adopted them because, well, they were there. Our subconscious minds have been constantly at work since long before we were able to understand, using inductive reasoning to form beliefs, based on our experiences. 

Society has taught us, through television and advertisements and literally everything else, that alcohol equals fun. And our subconscious minds, without us ever thinking about it, firmly believe that in order to really have a good time, we have to consume alcohol. You don’t have to let your subconscious mind take control though. Once you identify this (obviously false) belief, you get to weigh it against the evidence and decide what you actually, consciously choose to believe. 

Don’t trap yourself into feeling bored or left out, just because you believe that you will. You have the power here!

What is actually fun to you?

Consider this possibility: if you have to drink in order to enjoy something… maybe you don’t actually enjoy it. Maybe that’s not actually your idea of fun. In her book, The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again, Catherine Price differentiates “Fake Fun” from “True Fun” and it’s actually quite an eye opening explanation. “Fake Fun is numbing and leaves us empty when we’re done. True Fun makes us feel nourished and refreshed.” 

Did you catch that? “Fake Fun is numbing…” Which is literally the definition of what alcohol does, right? What things do you do that you’ve always thought of as “fun”, but actually leave you feeling empty and worn out? What things do you do that actually leave you feeling full and refreshed? These are good questions to ask yourself as you start rewriting your beliefs surrounding alcohol. 

Know and honor your authentic self.

The foundation of recovery is authenticity – taking the time to get to know who you really are, without alcohol altering your feelings and your personality. One part of authenticity means finding out what you truly enjoy doing. Throughout this process, people often discover that they were trying to force themselves to enjoy things they actually didn’t.

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to that tell me, “I always thought I was an extrovert, but when I got sober I realized I’m actually quite introverted!” That realization has allowed them to let go of the idea of enjoying big parties and loud concerts, and find True Fun spending a quiet afternoon with a few close friends. We carry so many beliefs about what we’re “supposed to” enjoy, and can even feel like there’s something wrong with us if we don’t actually enjoy them! Dig deep and get honest about what you really enjoy doing. And then honor yourself, and do those things. 

Recovery is a beautiful journey.

Uncovering our subconscious beliefs and giving ourselves the space to rewrite them opens up a whole new world of fun, and joy, and confidence. 

Tell us in the comments – what do you do that feels like True Fun?

Julie Miller
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