Protect My Peace By unfollowing people on social media blog image dandelion blowing in the wind

How I Protect My Peace (By Ruthless Social Media Unfollowing)

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I was over a year into recovery before I heard the phrase, “Protect your peace.” I don’t want to be dramatic, but it kind of changed my life. It described what I had already been doing, gave it a name and made it valid. I adopted that phrase, and started using it to give myself permission to honor myself. I allowed protecting my peace to be a priority. 

Anyone who knows me knows I have no problem unfollowing people on social media, or even blocking them, if that’s what it takes to protect my peace. I don’t think twice. I don’t worry about what they’ll think (chances are, they won’t notice anyway.) If someone on my social media accounts negatively affects my sense of peace in any way, to the chopping block they go.

So many options, so little time.

There are different ways to go about this. Of course there’s just unfollowing or unfriending. On Facebook, you can also just “unfollow” posts from someone (Instagram has “mute”), if you don’t want them to know you’ve unfriended them. (Like your cousin Susan, who is constantly checking your profile and will definitely notice – and then destroy your peace because of it.) On community forums, you can block someone so you no longer have to see their posts and comments. 

Who definitely deserves to be unfollowed

The girl from high school you were never actually friends with anyway. Chances are she only friended you because she wanted to show off her fancy husband and her fancy kids and her fancy lifestyle. You find yourself comparing what you see on her profile to what you have going on in your life right now, and it’s hard to not feel like she’s got it all. What she doesn’t show you are the arguments, the out of control behavior, and the piles of debt. Don’t follow people who try to make their lives look perfect. Especially if they’ve never earned an ounce of your energy to begin with.

The party boy you worked with at your first job out of college who never actually grew up. He posts pictures every weekend of fancy drinks and wild parties and clubbing and concerts. His posts only make you feel like you’re missing out. What he’s not showing you are the hangovers, the drunk texts to multiple ex-girlfriends, and the piles of regret he feels every Monday morning as he slogs into work (at the same job he was in twenty years ago.)

The famous people who only post perfectly edited pictures of their already nearly perfect bodies as they go about their nearly perfect lives. It’s not always the right people that we find ourselves looking up to. A good role model shows you their reality, and how they got there. A bad one only shows you all the “perfect” and leaves you feeling mediocre and disappointed with your not-so-perfect body and your not-so-perfect life. Choose the celebrities you look up to wisely. There are some really inspiring ones. 

The uncle who only ever reposts memes bashing one political party or another. It doesn’t matter which side you’re on and which side he’s on. If he’s posting memes and videos filled with nothing but hate, that hate is going to infiltrate your life and threaten your peace. Politics aren’t inherently bad. Hate is. A peaceful life leaves no room for hate.

The Negative Nancy who uses social media to air out ALL her dirty laundry. She complains about everything unfair that has ever happened to her. She calls out every person who has ever wronged her. She complains about the clerk at the DMV and the teller at the bank and the cashier at the grocery store, who all must be out to get her personally. She overshares about every ache and pain, from her ingrown toenail to her migraines, and begs for your prayers. Never a positive word for anyone. Negativity will suck the life out of anyone.

Literally anyone else that only ever makes you feel bad. You don’t even need to be able to explain why. If, every time you see someone’s name pop up on your social media feed and it stirs up a bunch of yucky feelings, that’s your cue to click that unfollow button and release them from your life. No apology, no explanation needed. You’re protecting your peace. That’s all you need. 

Bonus: Who you SHOULD follow

Body-positive role models. These guys and gals aren’t perfect, and they love themselves anyway. And best of all, they want you to love yourself just as you are, too.

Mental health professionals. These folks post tips and tricks to help improve little bits of your life. Little nuggets of tried and true wisdom that, if you can find a way to implement, might be just what you needed to turn a problem into a solution.

Sober influencers and other sober folks. The real ones. The ones that share their stories, their struggles and their encouragement. The ones that you really feel like you connect with. Let them be the light when yours is going a bit dim. 

Social media isn’t all bad. It’s an excellent tool when used wisely, just like everything else. Just remember that above all, protect your peace. That’s all the permission you need to do whatever you need.

Julie Miller
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