When I quit drinking, it felt like I had hours and hours of free time each evening, and if I didn’t come up with a good way to spend those hours, I ended up just spending them thinking about drinking. (And that’s a great way to go crazy, let me tell ya.) One of my favorite time-fillers in the early days was reading, and it’s a habit that stuck. I still read a little bit every night before I go to sleep. Sometimes it’s just novels for fun, but other times it’s books that keep me thinking and continue my forward momentum.
This list of books are the ones that have helped me the most over the course of the past 4 years of my recovery journey, and I’m excited to share them with you. Some are specifically about alcohol and addiction, others aren’t related to alcohol at all. We know that sobriety and recovery are two very different things – and some of the books in this list will go a long way in supporting your continued recovery. It’s not just about changing our habits, it’s also about changing our thoughts – and that’s what these books will help you do.
Alcohol Explained by William Porter
What it’s about: “Alcohol Explained is the definitive, ground-breaking guide to alcohol and alcoholism. It explains how alcohol affects human beings on a chemical, physiological and psychological level, from those first drinks right up to chronic alcoholism. Alcoholism and problem drinking seems illogical to those on the outside, indeed it is equally perplexing for the alcoholic or problem drinker. This book provides a logical, easy to follow explanation of the phenomenon and detailed instructions on how to beat it.” credit: barnesandnoble.com
Why I loved it: I don’t love science, but this book makes science something I had no trouble reading and understanding. Far from feeling like a text book, Alcohol Explained was written for anyone to comprehend and read without too much effort. What stuck with the most from this book was his explanation about how alcohol fuels anxiety. Once I read that, I could no longer tell myself that drinking helped with my anxiety… one of the stories I loved to tell myself so I could justify drinking.
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
What it’s about: “Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency – the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another – has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins.” credit: melodybeattie.com
Why I loved it: Okay so, it took me quite awhile to actually read this book. I had no idea what “codependent” meant, but I assumed since I was very independent that I must not be codependent. Yeah, I was so wrong. Codependency is all about trying to control others to make yourself feel more valuable. “Control” sends people’s hackles up, but most of us try to control others more than we realize. We try to protect them from suffering, try to get them to do what we can clearly see is best for them, and try to control their perception of us… never with ill intent, of course. But in the process of trying to “fix” everything for everyone, we lose ourselves. And since recovery is essentially the journey back to our truest self, this book provides a wonderful foundation for recognizing the codependent behaviors so we can start to change them.
Rewired by Erica Speigelman
What it’s about: “Rewired is a new, breakthrough approach to fighting addiction and self-damaging behavior by acknowledging our personal power to bring ourselves back from the brink. Centered on the concept of self-actualization, Rewired will guide you towards not only physical sobriety, but a mental, emotional, and spiritual sobriety by learning to identify key principles within yourself, including authenticity, honesty, gratitude, and understanding a need for solitude.” credit: Amazon.com
Why I loved it: Of all the books I’ve read that are specifically about addiction recovery, this one is my favorite. I started working through it when I was about 30 days sober, and I’ve gone back and revisited sections of it many times since then. I could go on and on about why I love this book, but I’ll refrain. I will say this: this book made me believe that I do have the power within me to overcome my addiction. It was simply a matter of truly knowing myself and making changes (sometimes hard changes) in order to get there. The journal questions at the end of each chapter are where the real growth happens. This book can be read in only a couple of sittings, but working through the journal questions with intention can take months. It’s a slow and steady process of recognizing your thoughts and actions, understanding your options, and making changes as needed to create a life that you don’t want to escape from.
I Thought It Was Just Me by Brene’ Brown
What it’s about: “We spend so much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what, and how we’re supposed to be. So we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection. This book shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to one another and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together.” credit: brenebrown.com
Why I loved it: This was my earliest introduction to Brene’ Brown, and fundamentally changed the way I see myself and other humans. This book made me realize I wasn’t alone, that all those thoughts I was thinking weren’t “crazy” and in fact many other people think the same way. It was in this book that I came to understand what true connection actually is, why I was such a perfectionist (spoiler alert: it’s all about shame), and it set me on the path of true recovery, not just sobriety. Many of our shame based thoughts are the ones we want to escape from with alcohol, and understanding where they were coming from and learning how to reframe them was a key piece to my recovery puzzle. And, bonus, Brene’ is also sober!
Atlas of the Heart by Brene’ Brown
What it’s about: “If we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and to be stewards of the stories that we hear. In Atlas of the Heart, we explore eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human and walk through a new framework for cultivating meaningful connection. This is for the mapmakers and travelers in all of us.” credit: brenebrown.com
Why I loved it: We know that dealing with difficult emotions is the number one cause of relapse. We also know that talking about difficult emotions is one of the most effective ways to process them. In this book, Brene gives us the language to be able to talk about our emotions in meaningful ways. To be able to clearly and effectively name and describe what we are feeling enables us to work with the emotion and learn how to wade through it, instead of just trying to avoid it. Any tool that makes it easier to communicate what’s going on inside our hearts is worth having in a recovery toolbox!
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
What it’s about: “In The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.” credit: miguelruiz.com
Why I loved it: This book is so easily read and understood, and yet has the power to entirely change the way you think and the way you live. So much of our suffering is because of the things we think inside our heads, and even if we know that, it’s hard to know what to do about it. Ruiz simplifies it all in such a way that it feels like a reasonable task to take on. It may not be quite so simple as it sounds, and it certainly takes practice, but he outlines exactly what changes to make in our thought processes in order for our thoughts to stop causing us unnecessary pain. I know that for me, being alone inside my own head was something I dreaded. It was such a cruel and difficult place to spend time. Learning to transform my thoughts into healthier ones has made my own head a much more hospitable place to be.
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
What it’s about: “Annie Grace clearly presents the psychological and neurological components of alcohol use based on the latest science, and reveals the cultural, social, and industry factors that support alcohol dependence in all of us. Packed with surprising insight into the reasons we drink, this book will open your eyes to the startling role of alcohol in our culture, and how the stigma of alcoholism and recovery keeps people from getting the help they need.” credit: amazon.com
Why I loved it: This was my first introduction to the idea of subconscious beliefs and how they sabotage our desires to get better. Annie does a wonderful job of breaking down every subconscious belief about alcohol and presenting a healthier conscious belief for the reader to adopt, backed by science and experience.
What about you?
What books have been instrumental in your recovery? Let’s build a list in the comments!
- Debunking Myths About Addiction And Sobriety - May 10, 2024
- How Do I Know If I Need to Stop Drinking Alcohol? - May 5, 2024
- What causes relapses? Here’s what I learned when I drank after 14 months sober. - April 29, 2024
Thank you for sharing these books, I used to love to read, another thing alcohol robbed me of.
Never Enough, by Judith Grisel
Thanks Tess, I will add it to my list!