Nearly everyone experiences shame in recovery… and it seems many of us drank to try to avoid feeling shame in the first place. “I drank to avoid feeling the shame of drinking,” is a familiar concept to many of us. The shame cycle perpetuates, keeping us going round and round and never quite knowing how to stop. In this episode, we address dealing with shame in recovery. We’re joined by social media sober influencers Benjamin Lerner and Sonya Johnson, and CEO of Camelback Recovery Tim Westbrook as we talk about how shame held us trapped in our addictions, and how overcoming that was key to staying successfully sober.

Tim Westbrook, originally from Southern California and having spent his teenage years in Oxnard, pursued a Bachelor of Science in Business at the University of California, Davis. His life, however, was deeply impacted by struggles with substance addiction, which touched all areas of his existence. In March 2011, reaching a critical point, Tim committed wholeheartedly to sobriety. His journey through recovery, marked by experience, strength, and hope, fueled his desire to support others seeking lifelong sobriety.

Motivated by his passions for health and fitness, and his own long-term sobriety, Tim founded Camelback Recovery, a center known for its notable success rate in aiding recovery. In addition to this, he has actively participated in the recovery community, holding board positions in various non-profits, diligently following a 12-Step program, and engaging in Ironman events and yoga. His commitment to professional growth led him to complete a Master’s of Science in Addiction Counseling at Grand Canyon University in 2016, enhancing his ability to contribute to Camelback Recovery. His successful recovery journey has allowed him to lead a fulfilling, useful, and whole life in sobriety.

Sonya struggled with substance use for many years. She used substances as a way to cope with years of trauma and abuse. Her addiction lead her to dark places. She frequented jails and detoxes. It eventually cost her her marriage, her children, and her freedom. The last time she was arrested, she found Hope through the shared experiences of people in recovery. With the help of others, she was able to find healing, regain custody of her kids, and restore everything that was once lost. Since then she is found purpose in sharing her story with others giving back what was so freely given to her. Today, millions of people have heard her story and found hope that they can recover too. Her message is simple… If there is air in your lungs, then there is hope for recovery.  

Benjamin Lerner, the Great-grandson of Irving Berlin (composer of such iconic tunes as “God Bless America” and “White Christmas”), is a Vermont-based Composer, Writer, Radio Host, and Recovery Advocate.

Benjamin started his musical career as a classical piano prodigy. By his early twenties, he was an IV heroin and crack cocaine addict. Now sober since June 13, 2016, he journals his journey in addiction and sobriety in his all new piano-raps, which combine classical piano and rap.

Benjamin credits his continued success in recovery to his ability to express his emotions relating to his struggle through word and song. 

“When I first went to rehab,” Benjamin admits, “I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to make music anymore, because I made music about doing drugs for so long, I didn’t know if I’d be able to do it without getting high.  It took getting clean for me to realize that expression and creativity are the drugs I’ve been searching for all along. I’m still a junkie. I just get high off of music now.”

Benjamin has had the pleasure of performing for the National Academy of Medicine and The Aspen Institute. In 2019, he was the composer-in-residence at 1761 Arts, and he made his Carnegie Hall debut in April 2022 as part of the Indie Collaborative.

His debut album, CLEAN, was released in February 2020. It was produced at Old Mill Road Recording in East Arlington, Vermont.

Benjamin’s weekly column, also entitled, CLEAN, is read weekly in the Vermont News Guide and was syndicated in Seven Days in 2022.

In January 2021, Benjamin started hosting CLEAN Jams on WEQX, an innovative radio program that shines a spotlight on rap, hip-hop, and recovery. CLEAN Jams is sponsored by Old Mill Road Media.